Attack of the Smart Phone, 2

Me (to a really hot girl):

I really wish you were here right now. I could use a hug. I’m in a really downer mood right now.

 

Enter the “Smart” phone.

 

Me:

I really wish you were here right now. I could use a hug. I’m in a really diabetic mood right now.

Her:

…you have diabetes?

Me:

No lol I meant to say downer…

Her:

Downer is spelled nothing like diabetic…why didn’t you tell me? You know how germaphobic I am. I think we should stop talking…

 

Stupid Smart Phone!

(Ok this one is fictional. But it almost happened. Does that count?)

Attack of the Smart Phone, 1

My text to my dad (or something very similar):

“I’ve been in bed relaxing today. My stomach is upset and I have a bad case of the shits”—–

 

Enter the “Smart” phone.

“”I’ve been in bed relaxing today. My stomach is upset and I have a bad case of the shots”—–

 

Dad:

Ok just be careful, you don’t want to be drinking that much.

Me:

I don’t drink, Dad. I meant to say shits but the phone changed it.

Dad: Ok. I saw shots shits so…

 

Dumb Smart Phone!!!

 

The American Influence Number 1

At Disney when you forget your nametag you have to borrow a spare one. More often than not you get “Chris from Orlando” whether you’re a guy or a girl. But one night one of my male managers, who is from Haiti, was behind the counter wearing a “Nancy” nametag. He was serving a young foreign couple, and as soon as they saw his nametag, they looked scared and looked first to me and then to each other and said, “In America men are Nancies?”

I noticed afterward that the lady was pregant. I have no idea what country they’re from, but I’m sure that in a few months from now there will be a newborn Russian or Czech baby boy named Nancy, and his parents will say that “that’s what they name boys in America…”

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